New Breasts & Old Choices

I pulled out my drains today. Actually, I pulled one and my sister helped pull the other one. I was supposed to have a doctor's appointment for my post-op during which the doctor would have pulled the drains, but having seen it done after my first surgery it wasn't an intimidating prospect, so out they came. I feel much more free and can snuggle the babies on my lap with being concerned about them pulling my tubes out. That's a great step in the right direction.

Now that the drains are gone I have been able to get a better look at my breasts and the incisions. The incisions run horizontally along my sides under my arms ending just before the edge of where my back begins. I didn't expect them to be quite that long, but the lines are smooth and rather thin. In time I think they won't be very noticeable. For now, they keep me from being very mobile in my upper body. Reaching across my chest is difficult without some amount of discomfort and lying on my sides won't be easy for some time. I long for the days when I'll be able to sleep on my side again. That is something I've truly missed during this more than 4 month process.

So far, my breasts don't look like I thought they would. I know there is still swelling and they will shift and look different over the next several months. It'll be nice when they reach their new normal look. They are much softer than the tissue expanders - no more rocks in my chest. I can't say that they feel like my real breasts though, which were much softer. I'm sure the swelling is contributing to the extra firmness I'm feeling as well, but a certain amount of firmness is here to stay. This is not a bad thing of course. I joked for years with my husband about trading in my old boobs for new, younger ones. This is NOT the way to go about having a boob job, but there has to be a silver lining to the 4 months of pain I inflicted on myself through this choice.

Speaking of this choice, if I haven't said it already, I would do the same thing all over again. It's not completely over yet. There is still the question of the third surgery to construct a nipple, as well as the future tattooing of the areolae. At this point I can see why some women are content to have no nipples at all. Having gone through this much already, suddenly a nipple becomes less important, especially because it is purely cosmetic and will have no sensation. Then there is the question of projection. How far do I want my new nipple to stick out? I don't want to look cold all the time, but flat won't do either. What's the right decision? Maybe I'll just skip this one, at least for now. I really have a lot more important things on my mind for the time being; like schooling Koen, making holiday plans, getting pregnant for my sister and brother-in-law. Those things are all way more important than I non-feeling nipple I think. When the time is right I'm sure I'll blog about that one as well. Until then, onward and upward. :)