Changing the World One Little Heartbeat at a Time

Recently my husband was watching our newly-turned-one-year-old twins. He had been watching them for most of the day while I finished up some end-of-year testing with our older, home schooled son. At the end of the day when children were fed, bathed, diapered, dressed, and in bed, my wonderful husband met me in the kitchen where I was continuing to work toward cleaning house at the end of a very long day for the whole family. The words that came from his mouth made me pause and delivered the greatest surprise of the day. With a look of exhaustion, both mental and physical, and a slight sigh he said, "I couldn't do what you do." Short of committing himself to me on the day we were married, when he said, "I do," I believe no other words he's ever spoken to me meant more.

I'm currently reading the book by Dr. Laura Schlessinger entitled In Praise of Stay-at-Home-Moms. Those simple, yet powerful words my husband spoke were just the sort of validation women often need to continue feeling they are making a difference in their family and in the world, when all the world around them is conversely trying to make them feel they are wasting their lives, talents, and educations by being "only a stay-at-home-mom." Well let me tell you, I may not get paid for what I do, but there is no job I'd rather have. There is no job more important, more frustrating, more rewarding, and more vital to the future of our country than people who choose to put their children before the almighty dollar. Like Dr. Laura says, "...the pain and aggravation that go along with...parenting don't feel fulfilling at all. So, that means that tilling the soil, planting the seeds, watering and fertilizing, protecting from the elements, aren't worthwhile activities because in and of themselves they are not fulfilling? How, then, do you ever get a harvest?" She goes on to say that, "Life is just not always fulfilling...yet it is in these efforts that we perfect the world."

I submit that I'm not wasting my education, I'm passing it on to my children and using it to teach them the value of life-long education, all the while helping them learn all the little things along the way that adults take for granted. Mostly, I'm here to love them in a way that no other person could ever do. They will grow-up knowing that Daddy and Mama felt they were more important than having two incomes so that we could spend more money on things we didn't need anyway...and they'll never hear us say something as horrible as I've heard other parents say, even in front of their own children (praying their kids don't hear them when they're saying it)..."I don't know how you do it. I could NEVER stay home with my kids. They would drive me crazy!" I would be heartbroken if our children ever thought we felt that way for one moment. I couldn't be happier to be a SAHM and I will never apologize for not punching a clock. My difference is being made within the walls of the place we all call home.

Being a military family places us in a unique situation.  As active duty members of the military, our spouses are on call 24/7, which truly means the whole family is as well.  We must all be ready to flex and yield to the demands of the mission.  Arie and I decided early on that we were unwilling to place finances and careers above the needs of family.  Since I was active duty at the time we became pregnant with our first son, we made the decision that I would not reenlist.  We strongly believed that it was important for me to provide stability and security for our family in the midst of Daddy's ever-shifting schedule of work, schools, deployments, and TDY's.  It was a difficult transition, but one that we have never regretted making.  I used to feel self-conscious that I was not a financially contributing member of the family.  Now I like to think of it as a change in my mission.

A song by Steven Curtis Chapman reminds me often of why Arie and I chose this life; him active duty and me staying home. This song is called One Heartbeat at a Time. You can watch the beautiful video and listen to the song at the link on You Tube. Here are the lyrics:

One Heartbeat at a Time

You're up all night with a screaming baby
You run all day at the speed of life
And every day you feel a little bit less
Like the beautiful woman you are

So you fall into bed when you run out of hours
And you wonder if anything worth doing got done
Oh, maybe you just don't know
Or maybe you've forgotten

You, you are changing the world
One little heartbeat at a time
Making history with every touch and every smile
Oh, you, you may not see it now
But I believe that time will tell
How you, you are changing the world
One little heartbeat at a time

With every "I know you can do it"
Every tear that you kiss away
So many little things that seem to go unnoticed
They're just like the drops of rain over time
They become a river

And you, you are changing the world
One little heartbeat at a time
Making history with every touch and every smile
Oh, you, you may not see it now
But I believe that time will tell
How you, you are changing the world
One little heartbeat at a time

You're beautiful
You're beautiful
How you're changing the world
You're changing the world

You, you are changing the world
One little heartbeat at a time
Making history with every touch and every smile
Oh, you, you may not see it now
But I believe that time will tell
How you, you are changing the world
Oh, I believe that you
You are changing the world
One little heartbeat
At a time

And you're changing the world