The Day We Found Dexter

The morning after Kenji died we awoke at 7 am and prepared ourselves to search for Dexter. I had already prayed and asked God to protect him and bring him home. I didn't know what losing both of them would do to Koen. Dexter had been missing the whole night through horrible rains that had left Elizabeth City, N.C., severely flooded. By 7:30 am we were ready to go.

First, we went out and drove around the neighborhood again calling Dexter's name and whistling to no avail. Then we headed back to the house to call the Albemarle Pet Crematoria to find out about cremating Kenji. The funeral director was at our house within 15 minutes to pick him up. The whole thing seemed surreal and, though I was crying, I felt detached and numb.

Afterward, we left again to begin knocking on doors while we waited for the animal shelters and animal control to open. We started with our closest neighbor and planned to work our way down the street. At our neighbor's house we shared our news and she told us the hour she had last seen Dexter. She recommended we check across the street from her because he might have been able to get under a door that is left cracked open for their dog. Could he be in there? We left and went straight across. After showing Dexter's photo to the very nice lady, she told us her daughter had seen him running down the middle of the main road in front of our house. Traffic, she said, was stopping for him and he was running toward the gas station at the end of the road. Our road is highly traveled and has no shoulder, only deep ditches. That sighting was about 7 pm. I decided to abandon our door-to-door search and go instead to the gas station to show his photo to the staff.

No one at the station recognized Dexter, so Koen said, "What's next?" I quickly said, "Let's go down the street to Lamb's." Being early morning, I thought Lamb's convenience store and gas station might have lots of locals in and out. Maybe we could show his photo and get a hit. The two employees said they hadn't seen him, but a line of customers began turning their heads to look at the photo on my cell phone. The second lady in line said, "I saw him last night. He was diggin' in my trash." I was relieved! Her sighting had been later in the evening. As she was giving me details about where she lived, Koen began to yank vigorously on my shirt sleeve. I leaned over to him and he whispered excitedly in my ear, "I prayed and God told me this lady is going to lead us to Dexter!" He sounded as serious as a heart attack. We finished talking with the lady and made for the door.

Jogging to the van, Koen asked again, "What now?" I told him we were headed toward that lady's street. As we jumped in the van, he began saying, "I know we're going to find him! The last time he got out I found him sniffing in the flowers around a neighbor's mailbox." The tone in his voice was one that said he didn't believe that we would find Dexter later, but that we were literally going to go right then and pick him up. He was convinced that God was pointing us toward his best friend. Though I'm a Christian, I was skeptical. His faith was unshakable and I worried about what would happen if we never found Dexter, or worse, found him dead. Would that rattle his faith? Time was running out for my search because I had only an hour before having to leave for a doctor's appointment. My sister had coordinated her trip from Florida and we both had to be there. There was no way we could reschedule.

Turning onto the street where the lady lived, I slowed my speed and we began calling loudly for Dexter. After numerous houses, I saw a front door open and decided to stop. Another nice lady told me she hadn't seen him, but would be on the lookout. After a brief conversation we were back in the van. I backed out and was just picking up speed when I looked to the right and spotted him standing in a flower bed two doors down and across the street from the lady's house. I shouted, "DEXTER! DEXTER! There he is!" I couldn't park fast enough!

Whipping into the driveway, we both sprang from the van and bolted toward him. He was soaked to the bone, filthy, covered in fleas, and obviously injured. Three of his legs were skinned with patches of fur missing and he was barely walking toward us. In fact, he only stepped out of the flower bed and just stood on the sidewalk waiting for me to pick him up. He winced and yelped as I gently scooped him up, snuggling him into my chest. We made our way back to the van crying tears of joy. We climbed in and I passed Dexter over to Koen's lap. The smile on his face was priceless - pure joy!

Before we could even move another muscle I knew we had to stop and thank God for leading us to Dexter. We give Him all the credit. He derailed every plan I had for finding Dexter, which had included calling shelters and animal control and printing fliers to put up, among other things. Had I taken time to do those things we might have never found him.

It occurred to me later that Koen had had the faith to move a mountain. He prayed, believing, and he received. Later, he told me he had a new nickname for Dexter. He called him "The Miracle Dog". What was wrong with me? The night before as I stood contemplating whether to buy him a soft, new dog bed, I was certain I'd probably be wasting my money. I just couldn't bring myself to believe we'd find him alive and had decided against spending the money. Thankfully, Koen didn't share my skepticism.

All day I pondered the lesson I'd learned from my 10 year-old son. I ponder it still. I want to have the faith of a child, my child. Someone later commented that it was my determination that led us to Dexter. However determined I might have been, without God my little man would not be sleeping in his bed tonight with his best friend. I give it all to Him who has given all for me. I'm so thankful for the prayers lifted up by our family and friends. They were all used by God to sustain us through a frighteningly uncertain time.

The sight of Koen and his best buddy together again gives me peace. Dexter's presence has helped to soften the blow of Kenji's death. We all have been reminded that life is short and that we need to cherish and give time to those we love. I'm grateful that we have more time to love Dexter. Now we just need to pamper him until he's well and running circles around us again.


Koen reading with Dexter, August 22, 2009.

The Night We Lost Kenji

Last night we went to a farewell dinner for Arie's Chief in Chesapeake, Virginia. We left our home at 2 pm to meet Arie and do some shopping before our dinner. As usual, the dogs were in the garage so that they could come and go from the backyard to do their business. It had been raining for four days . . .

We returned home at about 9:30 pm and we began preparing the babies for bed while Koen went out to check on the dogs and make sure they had plenty food and water. I was just preparing to lay Karter down after his bottle when I noticed a flashlight in the backyard. I thought that was odd since it was raining. Why would anyone be in the backyard with a flashlight? After laying Karter down, I realized that Koen hadn't come back in and Arie was no where in the house either. I stepped into the garage where Koen met me saying that Kenji and Dexter were missing and the side gate to the yard was open. Arie came right behind him and told me the rain had saturated the ground, which made the fence settle enough to release the gate latch. Kenji and Dexter had run out and we had no idea how long they'd been gone.

I threw my shoes on and ran out as quickly as I could, followed by Valerie and Koen. We jumped in the van and drove a large perimeter around our neighborhood calling their names and whistling. Nothing. They were gone.

Back in the house, I began looking up numbers for animal control and anyone else I could think of to contact. As Valerie got on the phone making calls, I left again with Koen to search a larger area. It was pouring rain and we were driving with the windows down, again calling and whistling. Frogs were jumping everywhere and I inevitably ran over too many of them. The whole night seemed like death and foreboding. I felt sick as I turned around, dodging frogs, and drove back toward home. At that point we had been looking for them for almost 1.5 hours.

As we approached the house I could see flashlights in the road in front of our house and the shapes I began to make out as Arie, Valerie, and Aaron (my sister and brother-in-law). I was driving up on them when Val calmly waved me off. My stomach sank and I wanted to throw up. Who was it? God, please don't let it be both of them! Koen sat next to me clueless of the sign I'd received from Val. I pulled into the driveway and as I parked I told Koen they had found one or both of the dogs and that it wasn't good. Someone was dead. We both jumped from the van and I began to jog down the driveway. Meeting Val halfway, I said, "Who is it?" She told me it was Kenji. I turned and Koen was gone. Arie and Aaron were standing next to Kenji when I walked up. He had been lying in the tall grass along the side of the road just across the road from our house. I felt so guilty that I'd passed him, not even knowing he was there. I was empty and heartbroken.

Val said that dispatch told her they had received a call and that animal control was going to go out in the morning and pick the dog up. We were so thankful we had found him first. After spending a few moments with Kenji, Arie and I agreed we had to gather him up and bring him home and I ran to find Koen. Rounding the corner from the yard into the garage, my eyes met Koen's. The look on his face was agonizing and he seemed to be holding his breath. I said, "Buddy, it's Kenji and he's dead." No matter how softly I spoke those words I couldn't seem to muffle their blow and my tenderhearted 10 year-old son was reduced to loud sobbing tears. We melted into each others arms - two hearts breaking in two. That's where Arie found us. He wasn't crying, but the look on his face was pained and he seemed to be straining not to cry. It occurred to me that he needed a hug. I think I hugged him, but all I truly recall is talking about what container we could use to hold Kenji. Arie grabbed a large green tub and I ran to grab a towel. I felt the need to make Kenji dry and warm, to give him comfort even though I knew he was gone. Really it was to soothe me by treating him as gently and lovingly as I knew how. Standing in the door of the closet I pondered which towel was the right one to choose on the occasion of losing a best friend. My eyes landed on the purple towel and I thought of Jesus. I yanked it from the stack and ran out the door.

Arie wrapped the towel around Kenji and something about the purple color and Jesus gave me a slight bit of comfort. Arie gently placed him in the container and we walked to the garage. Koen gathered with us and we said our goodbyes to Kenji. Sachi was running all around us and we decided to bring her over so that she too could say goodbye to her best friend of eight years. I raised her paws up on the side of the container and pulled back the purple towel. She leaned forward, sniffing all around Kenji. Her face seemed to change and we thought she understood. We spent some time with Koen before sending him off the bed around 12:30 am.

The fleas on the side of the road were horrible and Kenji was covered in them. We had only recently had our backyard infested with them and had sprayed the yard and treated the dogs. Seeing those fleas made me an angry woman! I felt that he was being violated and was determined to kill them all! I announced to Arie and Val that I was going to Wal-Mart to buy flea killing spray. I was relieved when Val offered to go with me. We drove to Wal-Mart in torrential rain. Elizabeth City, N.C. was flooded.

In the pet section I grabbed the flea killer spray and turned to see the dog beds. We still had Sachi and I felt compelled to buy her a comfortable new bed. The thought occurred to me that if we found Dexter he would need a soft new bed too. I stopped myself short of buying two because after finding Kenji I was skeptical that Dexter would be coming home. I stepped into the check-out and wound up sobbing in front of the cashier and another customer as I told them we'd just lost Kenji. The customer, a man named Jerry, said he would pray for us and specifically for Koen. I grabbed my bag and headed back out into the rain.

We sprayed Kenji and covered him. I was comforted knowing the fleas were dead. How could they live and him not?

Morning would bring many phone calls and knocking on doors in a mad search for Dexter. Koen was worried sick and distraught at the thought of burying Kenji in a yard we would eventually move away from. We all decided to call the pet crematorium in the morning and have him cremated so that we could take him with us the day we move from this house. It was nearly 4 am and still down-pouring before I forced my eyes to close with visions of Kenji in my mind - worried sick about Dexter.


Dexter laying his head on Kenji. They were best friends.