Poise in the Face of Frustration: My Challenge as a Parent

"Whether waiting to see a change on the scale, dealing with your coworkers, or diligently putting in work and feeling unappreciated, losing your patience is very easy to do. By exercising patience with all people, you are allowing them to become better and to learn on their own through gentle guidance. One healthy byproduct of self control in the face of frustration is that it usually leads to encouragement and enhancement of your relationships. Happy families and friendships thrive on patience and learning. It may take time to learn, but the results are well worth it!"

This reflection from Spark People today hit a nerve. I exercised with my son today using TaeBo. It was a stressful time. I would have liked for it be enjoyable, but it wasn't. He's 8 years-old and hasn't developed an ability to push through things that are difficult. When things get even slightly challenging for him, he loses his composure and becomes a heap of tears and anger. I have a very difficult time dealing with a person of that mentality - it is so contrary to mine. I was not compassionate toward him at all. His tears come so often that it's like the boy who cries wolf. I never know when it's serious versus when he's just having another meltdown. It's become so common a behavior for him that I have become hardened to it. I've tried to explain this to him, to no avail. But I digress.

He was not giving his best during our exercise. He was moving his arms floppy, barely moving his feet and his body language was one big complaint. It was beyond frustrating. I was angry. I don't expect perfection, not from him, not from anyone, not even myself. What I want is for him to give all of himself to whatever he does. And even with that, it almost seems too much to hope for.

When I was a kid, I recall my mom trying to get me engaged in work. I did everything in my power to get out of it. I made excuses, I sneaked out of the yard work and back into the house. I even recall my emotions. I too was very emotional as a kid. It seemed that tears were my answer for everything. When did that change? Hmm. When will it change for my son? How and when will he learn the coping skills, like I did, that have enabled me to be a very flexible, roll-with-the-punches kind of adult. Am I going to ruin him along the way by being too tough or expecting too much. Sigh . . . I have these and so many more questions. And I thought losing weight and getting healthy have been tough. I'm a mom . . . there's nothing tougher than that.

After today, I need to print this reflection and post it where I can "reflect" on it every time I'm faced with the challenge of helping my son face the challenges in his life.