How Can I Call Myself These Things?

When I was a little girl I used to dance around the room holding a hairbrush, pretending it was a microphone. Music spoke to every part of my soul. If it was an emotion or experience of any kind, I could choose a song to relate it to. It was my outlet, my comfort, my connection to life.

I recall the first time I told someone, "I'm a singer." Part of me felt like a fake because they looked at me as if to size up whether or not I was lying to them. At that moment I felt a need to explain that I wasn't a recording artist, but a singer none-the-less. Why did I have to explain myself? Why did I feel like I was absconding with a title I hadn't earned? Actually, the real question was, "Am I really a singer?"

The same applies to my writing. Now that I tell people I am a writer I get the same type of look as before with my singing. People want to know if I'm published. Well, no I'm not, but does that make me any less a writer?

I've come full circle on these questions and here is the conclusion I've come to. When I wake up in the morning, I have a song on my lips. I sing: in the car, in the shower, to wake the babies and to put them to sleep, when I'm happy, when I'm sad, when I'm inspired, walking through Wal-Mart, or any other time as the urge hits me. In essence, I'm a singer because I sing.

Why then am I also a writer? Throughout the day I make notes about topics to write about. It's an ongoing joke with my family when I say, "You know I'm gonna have to write about that," and they know I'm serious. I regularly e-mail myself writing ideas. I ponder book ideas. By the end of the day, all I can think about is stealing time to write. In fact, I often fall asleep in my recliner, laptop open on my legs, fingers still on the keys banging out the most recent inspiration. Essentially, I'm a writer because I write.

When I wake up in the morning or go to sleep at night, when all I can think of is singing or writing, that IS who I am. It is who God created me to be. So whether I am recorded or published or not is irrelevant. I am these things because of my passion for them and their movement within me. This is in part, my definition of me. These are two of the parts I most wish to share with the world.