Overcoming Me

One day my soul woke up - and it was fat! It didn’t happen overnight. I wasn’t always fat. I had spent the last eleven years eating emotionally. It started with my husband’s death. We had been newlyweds. Emotional eating stayed with me long after my wounds began to heal and even after I remarried. It had become a habit. I had a clue that I was hurting myself, but I felt powerless to overcome it. Food held control over my life, but I was ready to live differently. There was a glimmer of hope that my life could be different. Then Spark People showed up with a soft knock and an invitation, “Can Audri come out and play?” This began a journey of self-discovery I never could have imagined. See, I didn’t realize my personality and my future were being slowly buried!

Spark People helped me realize for the first time that to be successful I had to make some serious changes. It wasn’t enough to make a New Year’s resolution and hope for the best. I had to truly commit myself to being different, but first I had to believe it was possible. There were some things I knew to be true, so that is where I began. I knew I had not always been fat. I knew others had overcome even greater weight obstacles than mine. Mostly, I knew that through my faith, I could lean on a very special promise – “I can do all things through Him who strengthens me,” Philippians 4:13, if this is something God is bringing me to. After acknowledging these things, I felt prepared to commit myself to whatever it took to conquer myself. Within a week, I came to understand there were four strategies I would need to use to set myself up for success.

First, I had to honestly assess my battle with food. My “if they don’t see me eat it, it doesn’t count” attitude had to go! Using the nutrition tracker, I took a close look at my food choices, and my eyes were opened! Over time, I chose to eliminate caffeine, table salt, alcohol, sodas, and excessively high-fat, high-calorie foods from my nutrition plan. Some were harder to let go than others, but one by one they fell by the wayside in exchange for healthier options.

Second, I had to stop hiding my struggle. Those who loved me had known all along anyway – my size 18 wasn’t a good disguise. I was only fooling myself. I realized I had fallen into a habit of secretly losing a little weight with the hope that others would notice. When the loss wasn’t noticed, I would become discouraged and eventually quit. I decided to try a different approach and bring my family and friends into the program with me. This way, I was encouraged and held accountable. Eventually, I joined a team and even started one of my own.

Third, I had to have goals to work toward. I set concrete short, medium, and long-range goals based on my interests. Some I knew were attainable, like doing cardio four days each week. Some were a stretch for me, but also attainable with hard work, like climbing Mt. Fuji. I needed to have something on the horizon to aim at, a target. It was important to have it close enough that I could focus on it, unlike looking at my overall weight loss goal. If I had begun by focusing on losing the whole 70 pounds, I would have become overwhelmed and possibly quit.

Fourth, I set a concrete plan in motion to help me succeed. I wrote out my plan on my Spark Page to keep myself accountable. This included making my nutrition and fitness trackers public, so others could see what I was tracking. I devoted myself to following my plan, even on the days when I wanted to quit. I determined there were only two choices: to quit or keep going – and quitting wasn’t an option.

Along the way, a funny thing happened. I found myself! Each honest step I took loosened the control food had on me. Once I began to see the fruits of my labor I realized that I could have done it all along. I had been making excuses and giving away my freedom to choose a better life. Through overcoming the old me, I realized that my personality had been stifled. I wasn’t energetic enough to be on the outside the person I was on the inside. Now, I have a zeal that was lost for years. I am alive! I’ve even tackled new physical challenges and along the way come to think of myself as an athlete. That’s amazing to me!

Perhaps the greatest consequence of my weight loss (59 lbs. to date) is that I have the ability to speak into the lives of others in a meaningful way. I never thought I would see the day when others would call me an inspiration. Living as a fat person enabled me to relate to the “fat struggle.” I guess those eleven fat years weren’t completely wasted after all.

Don't Wish Me Luck!

A couple people have recently said these words to me, “Wish me luck.” It got me thinking about luck and what it means. The dictionary says luck is “advantage or success considered the result of chance.” Do we really want our weight loss to rely on chance?

For years my weight loss and health were left to chance. Chance is defined in part as the absence of any cause of events that can be predicted, understood, or controlled. In short, I was not controlling my weight loss efforts through a means that was clear and understandable and could predict my success. This set me up for failure. Without proper planning and execution, losing weight will be an elusive goal.

I’ve taken two trips across the country and each time took planning. I spent a significant amount of time preparing – finding the right map, searching for hotels, investigating points of interest, etc. I made phone calls for some reservations. I cleaned out my car and made sure I had jumper cables. I checked to make sure I had my insurance card in the glove box. I called family and friends to coordinate visit dates and times. The time spent preparing was invaluable, though not fully realized until I was in the midst of my travels.

In spite of planning, I inevitably hit some snags, especially during my first trip. Here are a few of my “snags”: getting lost, flat tire, sold-out hotels, car damaged by flying debris, lost a/c, caught in torrential rains, caught in a sandstorm, 3rd-degree burn on foot. In spite of my meticulous planning, I realized two things. First, I hadn’t thought of everything, like having a spare tire. Second, even my good planning couldn’t overcome some of the situations I encountered, like losing my a/c in the middle of summer in Texas. For those, I just had to rely on my patience and quick thinking to get me through. Yes, this was a memorable trip, to say the least, but what does it have to do with losing weight? Everything!

Assume the story above was about my weight loss journey. This is what it would look like. I spent a significant amount of time preparing for my weight loss – finding the right program (Spark People), searching for healthier food and recipes, and investigating fitness options to find the one I liked the most and would stick with. I bought a digital food scale and rid my house of high-calorie and fat-laden foods. I created a vision collage to increase my focus. I bought some exercise DVDs, one set of 2-pound weights and a stability ball. I enlisted the support of my mom and a close friend, Ashley. I developed short-range, medium-range, and long-term goals – something to really strive for.

My time spent preparing was invaluable, though I didn’t realize initially how much it would help me. In spite of my planning, I inevitably hit some snags. Here are a few of my “snags”: potlucks, dining out, people pushing fattening food on me, visiting houseguests, bad weather, meetings, injury, illness, fatigue. The list could go on. In spite of my planning, I realized two things. First, I hadn’t thought of everything, like how to cope with people who would try to sabotage my plan. Second, even my good planning couldn’t keep me from becoming fatigued, injured, or sick – although good health and planning can often keep those things at bay, not always. For those unplanned times, I had to rely on my good habits, tact, patience, and quick thinking. Yes, this has been a memorable and successful trip so far!

I understand what people mean with they say, “Wish me luck.” They are looking for support and encouragement. They are afraid of not succeeding and want to hear, “You can do it!” They want us to hope along with them for something better - a change – freedom from the weight that has held them back for years. I hope and long for each and every person to experience this freedom. Once I finally tasted it myself, I realized how much the weight was holding me back from experiencing life.

With all these things said, I have come to a conclusion. I will not wish you luck, leaving your future to chance. I wish you SUCCESS – the kind of predictable success that comes from setting goals, proper planning, and execution. You are worth it. You are able. You can do it!